The dream
Last night, I dreamt about my college friends. We were sitting on a couch talking about God. One of them said that he's starting to doubt whether or not God is real. I, being a Christian, started to talk to him about God and told him that He's real and that somehow, He'd find a way to get our attention. Suddenly, in my dream, the light in the room where we were talking, flickered on and off along with the light switch. I was scared so I hid and thought "It was probably a ghost." Then I woke up.

After waking up, I got chills and decided not to ponder much on my dream.

But before I went to bed the night after my dream, I did my "post-prayer" (my personal prayer after my family prayer before going to bed).

I've been praying for just one thing recently - my personal goal.

In my prayer I said "Lord, I don't know if you'll grant me this prayer, I am afraid I don't deserve it but I pray that..." Then after I said "Amen" I felt the urge to look in the internet and find clarity. I've been praying for the same thing for a while now and deep in my heart I know that I was in doubt, fearing God might not find me deserving of my request. So I searched on "How will God answer my prayer?"

When I pray to God, I shouldn't have treated it as a wish. My prayer WILL be answered. God answers prayers in "Yes and Amen!" God answers prayers not according to our will but according to HIS plan. It's "Yes or I have something better in mind" Sometimes we pray, yet we don't trust God enough that our prayers will be answered. Sometimes we pray, thinking that we're joining a lottery, that there's just a little chance that our prayers will be chosen to be answered. No! It doesn't work that way. When we pray, we have to believe that our prayers will be answered 100% of the time.

Then it hit me.

I've doubted Him. I thought I didn't deserve what I was asking for. I doubted His ability to move mountains for me that this simple prayer is NOTHING compared to what He can do.

A kid prays for snow on a sunny day but before leaving the house, he wears a coat. It's because he's ANTICIPATING. He EXPECTS it to happen. That's how strong his faith is. We then wonder why God doesn't answer prayers, well, maybe we do ask but we doubt. We doubt His ability.

Then I reflected on the dream I had. In my dream, even when the light flickered right after I told my friend "He'll find a way to get your attention", I still assumed that it was a ghost and not God trying to get our attention. In my dream, I doubted.

So I prayed my prayer again. This time, knowing that God will move mountains for me and sometimes we don't get exactly what we prayed for, we get something better.

Expecting is very different from hoping. Hoping is "I wish I have a doughnut!" Wishing is "I'll just make a coffee for that doughnut I'm getting!" Expecting is "I am getting a doughnut!"