LDR: The 411 | How to Make Long Distance Relationship Work?

By: Maria_L in Lifestyle

"LDR is not for the weak..." I heard someone say before.


I am in a long distance relationship and true, it is not for the weak. We have been together for two years and counting. I don't want to think that what I have right now is far more special than other relationships, it is not. I would like to think that it is just like any other relationships, with a challenge just a notch higher than the usual. Being away from each other should be by mutual consent, if you are having second thoughts, get out while you still can. Keeping a long distance relationship is hard and it never gets easy but if you feel that he is worth it, here are a few things you need to make sure you do:


1. Talk, talk and talk. I cannot give more emphasis on this one. Communication is truly the key to a strong relationship. You have to make sure that you two talk as often as you can. This becomes tricky when you live on different parts of the planet I'm telling you. We live 7295 miles apart with a 13 hour time difference but I talk to my boyfriend more than anyone. Ask him how his day was or tell him about your work that day. Keep him updated with whatever is happening to you and how you feel. Talk for hours about his agenda for the day, the outfit for a party you're going, or just plain nonsense stuff. It helps most specially on days when you are upset or when you get lonely. With the help of today's technology, chat, emails, SMS, Skype, it's not very difficult to keep in touch.


2. Trust. Trust is a big word and is very sacred in a long distance relationship. You don't get to see who he hangs with, his "real" whereabouts, what he does that very minute or if he really is at work or is he with some chick? Being in this kind of relationship really tests how well you trust your partner and vice versa. You have to closely look into yourself and come to the grips of knowing if you really trust him and if he can really trust you. Part of trusting your partner is letting him live his life and have experiences which you will not be part of. Paranoia can and has destroyed relationships; it'll be easier to destroy a long distance one.


3. Keep the Spark. Now this is a bit of a challenge since you will not have physical contact with your partner for a long time and sometimes it kills the flame. The best way to fight this is to do facetime, write each other cheesy letters or emails, send care packages and romantic gifts not necessarily on special occasions alone. If you have the time and resources, give him a surprise visit. People who engage in long distance should be more creative in trying to "keep the spark" alive since we do not have the luxury of hugging the person, or kissing him or merely holding his hand. You need to keep telling him that you love him, you care and you can't wait to be in his arms again.

4. Create the Plot. Have an end game. You and your partner should have an honest talk about how you see the relationship leading to. Who will move where? Let's face it; one of you will have to make that sacrifice so you'll eventually be in the same time zone. If you don't have the specific dates yet, at least have a ball park date in mind. It is very important that you and your partner are on the same page and that you both see a future together living in the same zip code.

5. Patience really is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait. But this will be a long waiting game and you will need to be equipped with and even longer patience for you two to survive. You will have to endure going on to your friend's wedding without your plus one or go to movie dates with all the loving couples surrounding you. Don't worry, it will be all worth it.


6. Bucket List. Plan your next visit. List all the things you want to do as together. Exchange ideas on the next beach adventure you want to go to, or that new restaurant you'll soon feast on. Do not limit yourself to crazy romantic ideas though. Part of your time together is that you get to do normal couple stuff -- doing the laundry, going to the grocery or snuggling up in the bed during a movie marathon. The little things matter the most, so don’t take these for granted.


7. Get a Life. There will be times when you just want to stay in your room staring at your laptop screen waiting for him to call you on Skype. But instead of sulking in self-pity cause he's miles and miles away from you (for now at least) take this as a chance to enjoy your life. You will be doing yourself a big favor by taking this time to spend more time with your family and friends, or exploring the new talent you never thought you had. Grab this as an opportunity for you to feel complete on your own so you can better a person not just for him but for yourself.

These handy tips may or may not work for some. But like the old saying goes, nothing is impossible if you want to give it a try. And remember that just like any kind of your relationship you need to put in a lot of trust, commitment and dedication. Distance is an added factor you had to deal with.




Maria graduated AB Communication Arts in 2007. Part-crafty person. She has her own online shop Maria's Collection (@mariascollection on Intagram) showcasing handcrafted jewelries. A perfect day for Maria would include the beach, a cold margarita and a re-run of her favorite series, How I Met Your Mother.

Posted by DiversityHuman.com on 13 Jul 2014

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