Guarding your Heart (Scared to Love again?)

I’m genuinely afraid to love again. Not just love, I feel afraid to be infatuated with someone again. This isn't drama. Some girls tell people that they’re scared to love just for the sake of being dramatic and seeing how people would pursue them more. But believe it or not there will come a time in your life that you’ll genuinely be guarded and reluctant to feel because of the fail streak you've gone through.

You try to be nicer to people who would want to get to know you but you end up pushing them away or ignoring them. Here is where the line “It’s not you, it’s me” comes along.

Who’d have thought that line could also be used other than for being an excuse for a break up? Seriously, it’s not that I don’t like people warming up to me. I mean, who wouldn't want affection? But if you've already experienced so much getting-to-know each other stages, you’ll come to realize that what comes after isn't the best experience for your heart in the world.

Getting hurt for so many times will eventually lead you to having just about enough of the drama and pain. The unnecessary heartaches you could have. Sometimes it’s a lot better to just be happy with yourself, your family and your friends. Love and infatuation can bring out the most explainable and ecstatic feeling a person could ever experience but the agony of heartbreaks make you wonder if it’s even worth all that.

Guarding your heart helps you think more clearly and that there’s so much more in life than having a “sweetheart”. I try to be nicer but I don’t know how being nice could get people to realize that I’m not even close to wanting to be in any kind of lovey-dovey, fling or serious relationship. I don’t even know when I’ll let myself open up to people again. I’m guarding my heart all too well this time around. Sometimes girls say no when they really mean no. There’s no use to rushing things.

Again, protect and guard your heart. Happy new year to everyone!